Michael J. Tresca gave 4 stars to: Gnoll Warrior - Dark Heaven Bones Miniature

Michael J. Tresca reviewed:

Gnoll Warrior - Dark Heaven Bones Miniature by Reaper

More werewolf than hyena, June 14, 2015

This review is from: Gnoll Warrior - Dark Heaven Bones Miniature (Toy)

When my campaign needed a lot of gnolls I quickly realized that I wasn't going to have enough gnolls to fill out a group of 12. Fortunately I hadn't yet opened my Kickstarter box of Reaper Bones II and it turned out there were no less than eight gnolls included in the set. This review covers the four gnoll warriors.

To begin with, there seems to be some disagreement as to what a gnoll is. This is a problem that has plagued Dungeons & Dragons since the introduction of the gnoll. Originally, gnolls were inspired by the gnole from Lord Dunsany's The Book of wonder: How Nuth Would Have Practised His Art upon the Gnoles. The accompanying artwork makes them look like little hairy black beasts. The Original Dungeons & Dragons boxed set characterized them as a cross between gnomes and trolls who are "otherwise similar to hobgoblins." Advanced Dungeons & Dragons described them as hyena-men.

Now, there's a lot of misunderstanding as to what a hyena is, and this has led to confusion on what a gnoll is. Hyenas are not, in fact, related to wolves. They actually have more in common with cats. They're fascinating weird creatures who could perhaps be best described as cats that pretend to be dogs. As a result, nobody's entirely sure how to sculpt a gnoll, which started out as diminutive hyena monsters and have since transformed into hulking werewolf types.

Tre Manor's gnoll warriors are the pinnacle of their evolution into huge killing machines. They wield a spike flail in one hand, a spiked shield in another, with a spiked gauntlet on the flail-wielding hand. Did I mention they're fond of spikes? The gnoll warrior also sports a fearsome-looking sagittal crest common to striped hyenas. The tail is bushy, also like a striped hyena.

I wanted these gnolls to stand out as a group but also wanted them to have enough in common with the other gnoll miniatures I have (which all seem to be colored a brownish-red), so I painted them a muddy yellow common to the spotted hyena and then gave them a brown wash over everything. Gnolls, I assume, are dirty, and their equipment should reflect that.

The wide stance of all of the gnoll sculpts may be an issue for some. These sculpts are big; too big to fit on a one-inch round base. They do fit diagonally in a one-inch square however. Also, the spiked flail is usually associated with priests of Yeenoghua specifically, so their inclusion in nearly every gnoll sculpt may also make them unsuitable as regular troops. That said, this is a handsome sculpt that worked out well for my gnoll horde.

Michael J. Tresca gave 3 stars to: Boneflail Gnoll Cleric

Michael J. Tresca reviewed:

Boneflail Gnoll Cleric by Reaper

What it says on the tin, June 14, 2015

This review is from: Boneflail Gnoll Cleric (Toy)

The adventure, Battle of Emridy Meadows, features a crusade against Gnaragg the Dog King. Gnaragg is fond of using a flail, so Boneflail was a suitable substitute...who is pretty much what it says on the tin.

Boneflail likes bones: a bull skull covers his groin, a fanged skull covers his right shoulder, and there are a variety of bones stitched into his belt, wrist bands, and bandolier. To Boneflail, every piece of hide is better with bone.

Boneflail also likes his flail. A little too much, actually as the head of the flail seems attached to his saggital crest. It's an easy fix to snip it, but a curious oversight in the mold that wasn't carried over to the gnoll warriors, who also carry flails. More to the point, Boneflail was awesome when he first debuted -- he held a flail as his right as a cleric -- but now that it seems every gnoll wields a flail he's not quite so special.
Boneflail also covered his wooden shield with hide, so he gets points for creativity. Unfortunately, standing next to the gnoll warriors with their spiked shields, he looks like a bit of a wuss.

One interesting point about Boneflail is that sculptor Tre Manor must have gotten bored with the typical werewolf-like posture of gnolls and gave
Boneflail the tail of a spotted hyena, with a "pompom"-like appearance.

This is one of those sculpts that on its own would be great, but next the other gnoll warriors he just looks like a poor imitation, and certainly not a powerful cleric.

Michael J. Tresca gave 4 stars to: Bloodmane, Gnoll Champion

Michael J. Tresca reviewed:

Bloodmane, Gnoll Champion by Reaper

Fits right in with any gnoll group, June 14, 2015

This review is from: Bloodmane, Gnoll Champion (Toy)

As part of The Battle of Emridy Meadows adventure, our heroes go after Gnaragg the Dog King. They first come across his consort, Norghu, who wields a glaive. Bloodmane, the Gnoll Champion, was a viable miniature.

Bloodmane's not all that original; he's basically a copy of the gnoll warrior, right down to the same spiked shield they use. It's interesting to note his spiked shield has three arm straps instead of two; you can actually see the additional strap behind the arm of the gnoll warriors. Bloodmane's a little different because he wears the skulls of three of his enemies (humanoids) at his hip, has a curved dagger at his hip, and wields an axe and...that's about it.

This is the sculpt I would have preferred to be the typical gnoll warrior. His armament is a little more traditional and, if he wasn't wearing the dagger and skulls, would fit right in with any other gnoll group.

Michael J. Tresca gave 2 stars to: WF

Michael J. Tresca reviewed:

WF: Toghra the Despolier, Gnoll Warlord by Reaper

More shaman than warlord, June 14, 2015

This review is from: WF: Toghra the Despolier, Gnoll Warlord (Toy)

In The Battle of Emridy Meadows adventure, the PCs fight Gnarrag the Dog King (who ironically, rides a displacer beast, but I digress). Theoretically, this sculpt is perfect to depict him. In practice, I thought Toghra was actually a shaman, not a gnoll warlord.

I'm guessing the idea is that Toghra is a taskmaster of sorts who whips his charges into submission. That thing in one hand is supposed to be a whip, but it looks more like a ceremonial flail to me. He's got a lot of angry wooden faces carved into his armor and he seems to be wearing a kind of tunic that's open down to his navel. His polearm is intricately carved and made of bone, topped by some sort of beetle. In short, Tohgra's attire looks like he made it himself.

One of the problems may be that Tres Manor sculpted the other figures, but Jason Wiebe sculpted Toghra. The hulking menace the other sculpts project just isn't in Toghra's appearance.

That's not necessarily a bad thing. But as a warlord, this figure simply doesn't work. He looks less menacing and more like he's chanting some sort of prayer. As a gnoll shaman this sculpt will do fine. But for a warlord, you're better off using the gnoll warrior.

Michael J. Tresca gave 3 stars to: Reaper Miniatures 77159 Bones - Ghast

Michael J. Tresca reviewed:

Reaper Miniatures 77159 Bones - Ghast by Reaper

Like zombies and ghouls and wights, only a ghast, June 14, 2015

This review is from: Reaper Miniatures 77159 Bones - Ghast (Toy)

The Battle of Emridy Meadows features seven ghouls in Gnarrag the Dog King's den, which is a little strange. Also, who has seven ghouls? Well now I have four thanks to the Reaper Bones II Kickstarter.

Gnolls as hyena intersects with ghouls in a curious way. H.P. Lovecraft's ghouls had a lot of canine-like features and hyenas have been (incorrectly) listed as scavengers and carrion-eaters. This may be why the two are associated with each other through their demonic deity, Yeenoghu. D&D ghouls don't look much like the ghouls of Lovecraft's stories -- a Lovecraftian ghoul isn't just a scavenging reanimated corpse but a full transformation into a new species -- and the hyena heritage of the gnolls fits the bill nicely.

Ghasts are another thing entirely. Lovecraft referenced them in The Dream Quest of Unknown Kadath as looking nothing like ghouls. Vulnerable to sunlight, they hop around like kangaroos on hoofed feet and tear apart their prey. Although they have a strong sense of smell, they don't actually reek so bad that it would incapacitate someone. D&D took some strange liberties with them. But that's okay, because ghasts and ghouls look similar.

One of these ghast sculpts made an appearance as a minion of the vampire queen in the first Reaper Bones Kickstarter as a Necropolis Ghast, so that brings my ghoul count up to five. However, the sculpt has a lot in common with the zombie sculpt from Dungeon Command, which happens to be the exact sculpt as the terror wight from the Dungeons & Dragons Miniatures game. Their appearance and posture is nearly identical with the exception that the ghast sculpt has no hair.

Michael J. Tresca gave 3 stars to: Tomorrowland [HD]

Michael J. Tresca reviewed:

Tomorrowland [HD] Amazon Instant Video ~ George Clooney

Disney's most murder-iest movie about idealism to date, May 29, 2015

This review is from: Tomorrowland [HD] (Amazon Instant Video)

There's a moment in "Tomorrowland" where grown-up cynic Frank Walker (George Clooney) pops the optimistic bubble of his spunky sidekick Casey Newton (Britt Robertson) by explaining that the virtual reality simulation of a utopian techno-future she witnessed is actually just a commercial -- it's a sanitized version of the much grittier real thing. It's a meta statement that could just as easily apply to the movie itself.

At heart, director Brad Bird wants you to know that somewhere along the way Americans stopped dreaming. The central conceit of the film was inspired by Neil deGrasse Tyson's "We Stopped Dreaming." Tyson's argument is that the defunding of NASA is the destruction of our dreams, paralleled in the film by Casey's battle to keep her Cape Canaveral from being taken apart by sabotaging the cranes.

The film educates us on how Disneyland and Disney World's are descendants of World's Fairs -- both "It's a Small World" and the "Carousel of Progress" debuted at the 1960s World's Fair first, with Epcot being perhaps the best realization of the Fairs' dreams of international peace. In a flashback that kicks of the film with a bang, a younger more idealistic Frank (Thomas Robinson) lugs his homemade jetpack to an inventor competition at the "Carousel of Progress." Frank is sharply rejected by David Nix (Hugh Laurie), but then a perky British pixie named Athena (Raffey Cassidy) gives Frank a pin that turns the "It's a Small World" ride into a dimension hopping gate to Tomorrowland itself.

Daniel H. Wilson's book, Where's My Jetpack? perfectly sums up the disappointment so many of us have in the future we were promised but was never realized, and "Tomorrowland" dives right into the topic by having young Frank's jetpack be the key to his future survival. But there's a darker plot here that lurks in the background: who, exactly, promised us this future?

It was NASA and the press, bolstered by a public willing to believe. The Astronaut's Wives Club by Lily Koppel (soon to be a TV show on ABC) demonstrates how the press lapped up everything NASA gave them and in turn covered up all the flaws that made astronauts human beings -- including their wives. To justify the enormous cost of NASA's space race against the Russians, the technology had to be literally brought down to Earth. So jet packs weren't just for astronauts, they were for businessmen trying to get to work. Convenient food dispensers weren't just for astronauts, the harried housewife could use it to make her dinner in no time flat. Your tax dollars at work!

Bird and co-writer Damon Lindedlof try to play the idealism straight, but their adult cynicism can't resist turning the plot into something ripped from a Terminator movie in which androids tear each other's heads off and vaporize police officers. If you're bringing young children, be warned -- "Tomorrowland" harbors kids' ideas in a decidedly adult film.

SPOILERLAND: This dichotomy is best summed up in Frank and Athena's relationship, .which is pure when they're kids and borderline squicky when it's an adult Frank trying desperately to not talk about the fact he's in love with a preteen girl robot. "Tomorrowland" spirals from there into Illuminati-style cabals, the Eiffel Tower, dubious science (drinking a Coke restores blood sugar you guys!), and more bad guy murdering. This has to be the most muderer-iest Disney movie about idealism to date.

My kids weren't phased by the violence; my son was more concerned about how much trouble Casey would get into with her soon-to-be-laid-off NASA engineer dad (Tim McGraw). Tomorrowland's argument amounts to a Tinkerbell-style "we just all need to believe" argument cloaked in science and wonder, which left me feeling a little flat. As GE's "Invention Donkey" commercial explains when a millennial makes a wish to power the planet:

"First, start planning this years ago. Build a massive network of think tanks, research and testing facilities. Hire brilliant people from all different arts and sciences. Pile on the PhDs. Turn garbage into power. Run cities on jet engine technology. And oh yeah, create data-crunching windmills from the future. And then...POOF! It's done!"

As the donkey says, it ain't that simple folks.

”Tomorrowland" threatens the apocalypse if we don' figure it out. And yet despite the reductive argument the last few minutes of the movie are the very best. Finally we get a glimpse of the future as it is: practical applications, not world-spanning; implemented by the will of the people, not the government selling us on it; happening now, not futuristic promises decades hence. It's almost enough to make you believe there's hope for the future...but not enough to make up for the torturous path "Tomorrowland" takes to get us there.

Michael J. Tresca gave 3 stars to: Night at the Museum

Michael J. Tresca reviewed:

Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb [Blu-ray] Blu-ray ~ Robin Williams

A bittersweet farewell, February 23, 2015

This review is from: Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb [Blu-ray] (Blu-ray)

When I first saw "Night at the Museum" I thought it was stupid fun. That was eight years ago, if you can believe it, and the trilogy finally comes to a close with this final installment. As the passing of two key cast members demonstrates, the show really is over -- a decidedly adult conclusion to a kid-friendly franchise.



Who hasn't thought about museums coming to life? It was only in the past decade, when the special effects could keep up with our imaginations, that the concept was brought to the screen in glorious (and often cheesy) CGI. And who better to shepherd a franchise than Ben Stiller as Larry Daley, channeling his bitter snark into a family-friendly loser who is just trying to raise his kid right.



If you watch the first movie again...well, don't, because then you'll start to notice things -- the most egregious being the relentless characterization of Attila the Hun (Patrick Gallagher) as spouting gibberish. But never you mind, because "Secret of the Tomb" is now refined family fare. The third part of the trilogy has filed off the sharp edges so that there's less monkey slapping and more hugging and kissing.



To wit, the tablet of Ahkmenrah, responsible for animating all of the exhibits in the Museum of Natural History, is beginning to corrode. During a special exhibition in which the exhibits are "brought to life" (unbeknownst to the wealthy guests in attendance, who think they are merely special effects) the animating magic of the tablet goes haywire and the animated creatures go nuts, ruining the museum and leading to Dr. McPhee (Ricky Gervais) getting canned. The whole party -- literally, the museum's exhibits seem to party every night -- comes to an abrupt end.



But fear not! One flashback and some exposition later, we learn that former villain from the first film Cecil Fredericks (Dick Van Dyke, along with Bill Cobbs and recently passed Mickey Rooney ) is the link to the tablet's past. Fredericks directs Larry to the British Museum, where Ahkmenrah's parents (Ben Kingsley and Anjali Jay) hold the secret to restoring the tablet to its former glory. This is of course an opportunity to animate and explore a whole new museum filled with its own quirks and wonders.



As with all of the "Night at the Museum" movies, there are always jokes that just go on too long. Rebel Wilson as Tilly, the British security guard equivalent of Larry, spends far too much screen time desperately trying to be funny with nothing to do. There's an awkward thread about fathers and sons -- Larry's son Nicky wants to be a DJ instead of go to college -- that's supposed to parallel later events in the film but doesn't quite succeed. And Stiller's brand of humor isn't for everybody.



But there's some brilliant moments too, filled with action, intrigue, and a lot of coming-of-age hokum. The Neanderthal Laa that was modeled to look like Larry is an inspired joke and Sir Lancelot's (Dan Stevens) epic quest is heart wrenching when his hubris finally comes to grips with reality. Indeed, "Secret of the Tomb" embraces death, even if it's only because some gold prop started to corrode.



In what can only be described as a bittersweet finale, Robin Williams as Theodore Roosevelt says goodbye to...well, to everything. Adults wept in the theater while kids wondered what the heck was going on. And suddenly what was a trifle of a kids film filled with stories about the wonders of history has become a sharp lesson about letting go of the past.



Does this make the film better? Will people watching it years later still feel the same? Probably not. But for now, in the present, everything is thrown in sharp relief by the last line ever spoken by Robin Williams as a wax figure in the form of Teddy Roosevelt:



"Smile, my boy. It's sunrise."