Michael J. Tresca reviewed:
Dank Cells, The
This review is from: Dank Cells, The (Sports)
Talien (AKA Tal) the satyr paladin and Maleficent (AKA Mal) the half-fiend/half-fey sorceress are scoping out the set of their new show -- with a special look at Legendary Realms' terrain, Dank Dungeon Cells and Accessory Pack.
Tal: I like this place. It has character. I think it will make a great new set for our upcoming super secret new show.
Mal: No.
Tal: Oh come on, Keep an open mind! Look at this place -- it has doors, beds...
Mal: ONE bed. This is a dungeon, you realize? It's right there in the title. DUNG-eon. Notice the first part. And the buckets in each cell. Ugh.
Tal: I prefer to think of it as a bunch of cozy studio apartments.
Mal: Are you a vagrant? Because only a homeless person would think that.
Tal: But look at how much the place has improved! The production crew has done an amazing job of painting this to resemble the Dwarven Forge tiles.
Mal: So basically, this place is less uglier than it started. That's not really an improvement.
Tal: Look at this luxurious bed...
Mal: I can't stop looking at the ten buckets.
Tal: Well you need to go somewhere...
Mal: There are only six cells, unless you count the seventh SUPER-SPACIOUS cell that barely fits the bed in it. I say again: TEN BUCKETS.
Tal: And these steel doors. The detail!
Mal: You do realize that there are no windows in them? It's pitch black when you close the door.
Tal: I like it dark when I sleep.
Mal: And during the day?
Tal: It's very secure.
Mal: You're just not going to give up are you?
Tal: I can do this all day.
Mal: Okay fine.
Tal: Fine let's use this set?
Mal: No. Fine, I'm not doing this with you. Pick another set or I'm not doing your stupid show.
Tal: Well, I knew it was a tough "cell." Get it?
Mal: ...
Tal: Wow you must really be angry. On to the next set!
Tal: I like this place. It has character. I think it will make a great new set for our upcoming super secret new show.
Mal: No.
Tal: Oh come on, Keep an open mind! Look at this place -- it has doors, beds...
Mal: ONE bed. This is a dungeon, you realize? It's right there in the title. DUNG-eon. Notice the first part. And the buckets in each cell. Ugh.
Tal: I prefer to think of it as a bunch of cozy studio apartments.
Mal: Are you a vagrant? Because only a homeless person would think that.
Tal: But look at how much the place has improved! The production crew has done an amazing job of painting this to resemble the Dwarven Forge tiles.
Mal: So basically, this place is less uglier than it started. That's not really an improvement.
Tal: Look at this luxurious bed...
Mal: I can't stop looking at the ten buckets.
Tal: Well you need to go somewhere...
Mal: There are only six cells, unless you count the seventh SUPER-SPACIOUS cell that barely fits the bed in it. I say again: TEN BUCKETS.
Tal: And these steel doors. The detail!
Mal: You do realize that there are no windows in them? It's pitch black when you close the door.
Tal: I like it dark when I sleep.
Mal: And during the day?
Tal: It's very secure.
Mal: You're just not going to give up are you?
Tal: I can do this all day.
Mal: Okay fine.
Tal: Fine let's use this set?
Mal: No. Fine, I'm not doing this with you. Pick another set or I'm not doing your stupid show.
Tal: Well, I knew it was a tough "cell." Get it?
Mal: ...
Tal: Wow you must really be angry. On to the next set!
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